:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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