I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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