Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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