I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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