He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
