i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
