so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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