Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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