I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
