yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize