how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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