If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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