We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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