She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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