Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
