did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
