if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
