i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
