Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize