forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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