Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
