i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
