He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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