i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
