you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
