She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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