Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
