My room smells like vodka and shame
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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