butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
