i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
