Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Blood and glitter go together right?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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