It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
