Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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