I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Couch. On fire.
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