i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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