She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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