For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
