I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
