Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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