Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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