You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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