she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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