drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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