dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
