Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
