ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
