i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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