you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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