hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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