I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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