Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My ass is underappreciated
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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