wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
