Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
