Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
