He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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