We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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