You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
