super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
