a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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